Demons of Light
by Senpai's Boo
Summary: After 10 years of not seeing them, Yoshiki is going to visit his mother and sister in a rainy town surrounded by a legend. Yoshiki doesn't remember much about the town but knows that there was someone he wasn't supposed to forget. The answers were closer to him than he expected, making him remember certain things he shouldn't have remembered, if he wanted things to remain the same.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Mai gawsh, I'm back! Actually I wanted to come back earlier, but I thought it'd be nice to publish a brand new fic on my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! (Alright, maybe it's tomorrow but FUCK IT XD) Yes, today makes it one year of publishing fanfics! Dayum, time goes by fast! So I thought it would be kinda cute to do this on my anniversary… Nyuu. This story will be a little similar to Starcounter. The supernatural elements at least, plus Starcounter is one of the fics that I'm the most proud of, hehe. BTW, don't let the title fool you (this won't be another A Monster Like Me XD) So, sorry for the long A/N, but I want to end it with a huge shout-out to all of you who've been reading my stories for a year! You guys are my motivation, so stay as awesome as you are and PLZ ENJOY ;3**

 _For everytime a human dies with a smile on their face, a glowing sun of light falls down on the hill where the rain doesn't reach. That's how they're born. They're first trapped in the shape of an animal, but they soon learn to take the shape of any creature they desire. They're all brought to Earth by one mother. A mother whose sole occupation is to take care of them until she conceives a human daughter to keep the cycle going. This may be seen as a demon's ability. However, these creatures wish of nothing but to spread joy. That's where they get their name from._

 _The demons of light._

…

During one of the thousand seconds I was sitting there on the drenched park bench, I wondered for how long I'd been waiting. For the last couple of hours I hadn't been doing anything except for sitting and waiting. Walking for a few minutes. That's how it seemed on the outside, at least. No one could see or hear what was going on inside my head. I was thinking that maybe I'd done something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have come here after all. Maybe I should've just stayed with dad and take over his business after my few years of studying.

I was nervous. I haven't seen them in almost 10 years. Ever since my parents seperated, I had been thinking about them from time to time. For the first years after that, I mean. Dad had pretty much erased the images of them from my mind with school, lecturing and lots of scolding. I could only imagine mom and my sister's faces thanks to a few pictures at home, but otherwise…

I checked my phone again. Damn, she's late. Was she always like this? I searched my memories once again, just like I had done in the train. Nope. Nothing. I can barely remember anything from the last time I visited them; 9 years ago. I was eleven and my sister was eight. All I can remember is rain. Lots and lots of rain. I realized that the moment I went out of the train. And one more thing. A blurry face.

It was a face that belonged to someone I wasn't supposed to forget. Who was that, though? I have no idea. I can't remember one of the friends I made here either. I stroked my wet hair back, frustrated. Not just because of myself, but because of the rain. Mainly because of the rain. Dammit. Everything is just so … plain.

«Onii-saaan!»

A tiny girl with flowy, golden hair ran towards me and waved at me. That beige coat was way too big for her. Her rainboots too. The small raindrops that had managed to dodge the umbrella and landed in her hair glistened in the brief sunshine. My gosh, she's grown. I do remember that she used to be way smaller. She stopped running when she was just a few steps away from me and smiled.

«You've gotten so tall!» was the first thing she blurted out. «You too, uh …» I stuttered, trying to tease her. She frowned. «Don't tell me you've forgotten my name!» she said. I looked up at the grey sky and mumbled: «Hmmm… Ayako?» As a matter of fact, I did remember her name. But she was the perfect victim of teasing. «No, you can't be serious!» she yelled and looked like she was about to cry. I got up from the bench and walked ahead of her. «Well then, imouto?» I said and covered my smile with my hand. «Onii-san!» she whined out. «Sorry sorry…» I chuckled out, turned around and smiled at her.

«I've missed you, Miki.»

…

«Yoshiki!» the still beautiful-looking, middle-aged woman said when Miki closed the door behind us. I had completely forgotten how beautiful my mother was. Who am I kidding, why else did dad fall for her? Her deep-colored green eyes sparkled with tears as she tightly embraced her. I wrapped my arms around her slender back and buried my nose in her blond hair which was styled in big waves. Geez, she's so sensitive. But in a sense, I'm glad she actually wanted to see me and not just dad. It's clear that she's still broken from the heartbreak. Even when we talk on the phone, all I could hear was; «How's Isao?» «Has he married anyone yet?» «When does he plan to visit us again?»

«Long time no see, mom,» I said. She nodded against my shoulder and cupped my cheeks while looking into my eyes. «You've grown into such a handsome man. I've missed you so much, dear …» she said. «Me too. How've you been?» I asked. «Oh, the two of us have managed. But it's going to get even better since you're staying with us for a while, eh?» mom said and smiled. Miki came to us and laughed whole-heartedly. «It really feels like we're a family again, huh? I'm so glad!» she said. She really was happy. Mom too. I? I was still confused. Frustrated too. I wanted to remember, but I can't really force myself, can I?

…

«This guest room will be your room from now on. My room's right next door, so just tell me if you need anything!» Miki said. I threw my bag on the average-sized bed and sat down on it. I did a small bounce and nodded at her. «Thanks,» I said. Miki leaned against the wall, wearing a troubled look on her face. «Something the matter?» I asked. She sighed and asked: «Onii-san, do you… really not remember anything from this town?»

«I…» It doesn't matter how many times I try to recall certain people, places or events. It's hopeless. «Sorry,» I muttered. Miki poked out her bottom lip and whined out: «Not even that baby fox?»

My mind got filled with memories.

«That… The arctic fox?» I asked. My entire body warmed up at the memory. Right… For the short time I lived with them when I was 9, I took care of an abonded baby arctic fox I found. But when I had to go home, I left it where I found it. We were actually embarassingly close. I taught it how to read, showed it all my private stuff and even talked about my feelings with it. Ever since I went back, I cried for several nights because I missed it so much. How could I have forgotten that fox?!

«That's right! Do you remember him?» she asked excitedly. I nodded. «Gosh, I completely forgot!» I blurted out and chuckled. Miki laughed with me and said: «I still remember! When you found it on the hill where the rain doesn't reach, we all thought that he must've been a demon of light!»

Huh…? Oh my god, of course! Another thing I completely forgot about. That legend… «Right… I didn't believe that, though. Even if arctic foxes don't exist in Japan, there was no way that it was a demon of light,» I said. «Right,» Miki mumbled and giggled. «Yoshiki! Miki! Dinner's ready!» mom yelled from downstairs. Ah, a homemade meal. Haven't had those in a while. «Hey… Mom is a good cook, isn't she?» I asked. «Of course! She has always been!» Miki blurted out. «Heh… That's good to hear,» I mumbled.

…

It was a bed with a warmth that was unfamiliar to me. That's a normal reason for why I couldn't sleep, right? Even when I close my eyes, all I could think of was that little baby fox. Its white fur and big, blue eyes … To think that I forgot her makes met hink of myself as a horrible person more and more. Aren't there supposed to be about 4000 arctic foxes left in the world? That's a terrfyingly low number for a species.

But there was something else that was bothering me. I did feel relieved when I finally remembered that fox. However, it was another face that I wasn't supposed to forget. Someone really important to me. I promised not to forget that person's face, right? It's just a feeling I have …

Maybe… Maybe if I go to that hill tomorrow I'll find some answers.

 **A/N: Alright, things might be a little slow but we'll get there! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Plz review yer thoughts on it and I'll see you next time! UNTIL THEN ;3**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Today is my 1 year anniversary, yaaaaaay! Oh well, I already tanked you guys yesterday, so why bother XD But damn, I've written 10 fanfics in just a year… BUT ANYWAYS, PLZ ENJOY ;3**

«Have a safe trip you two!» mom said and gave Miki a small kiss on the cheek. I did eventually fall asleep somehow last night. Mom had actually made us waffles for breakfast and acted like a mother; caring and good-hearted. I hadn't felt that in a long time. Probably because I thought of her as weak this entire time. She was a strong mother, but a weak victim of heartbreak. That's the safest way of putting it, I suppose.

Mom noticed that I'd been staring at her and smiled at me. «Do you want kisses too, honey?» she asked me and laughed. My cheeks got even warmer when mom kissed me on the cheek before I could protest. «Geez, you're so…» I didn't finish my sentence. Mainly because I didn't know what to say. «No matter how old you get, you're still my baby,» she said and pushed a blond strand of hair behind my ear. Seriously, I have to keep looking at her as a mother. Otherwise, I might just end up like dad; judgemental and disrespectful.

«Oh, don't forget your umbrellas! The rain sure is pouring down today,» mom said and handed us an umbrella each. Come on, it always rains. «We're off!» Miki said and hugged her before pulling me out of the house. I waved at Ayako and closed the door.

«Mom is really happy to have you back here, y'know,» Miki said and waved her bag back and forth while whisteling a tune. «Yeah… I'm a little worried, though,» I admitted. «Hm?» she muttered questioningly. «You heard her while we were eating breakfast, didn't you? I told her that I could get a job and pay for myself, but she insisted on taking care of me,» I told her. Miki poked out her bottom-lip.

«Onii-san, don't you think that it means that mom wants to keep treating you as her son?» she asked. I frowned and explained: «For God's sake Miki, I'm 20! I can take care of myself.» «She loves you,» Miki said. I groaned, unable to come up with more arguments. That girl is as stubborn as a mule! She's just like a 12-year old, I swear to God. You can't beat them. You just can't.

As Miki lead the way and kept whisteling, I started thinking about my thoughts before I fell asleep once again. I said that I would find answers, but… I really doubt that. I looked up at the grey sky and didn't even bother to use my umbrella. If there's one thing I like about rain, I do like the feeling of the sharp raindrops splashing against my face. Ugh, I need to get used to this. Not just the rain, but the whole area. Or else, I might just never remember the face I was supposed to remember forever.

We were only a few houses away from our own when Miki stopped walking.

«What? Did you forget something?» I asked. She slowly shook her head. Her chilly gaze was fixed on a neighbor's house. I looked to where she was and saw a young woman with short, dark-blue har and red glasses with a black ball of fur in her lap. When I looked closer, I noticed that she was sitting on a white wooden bench in her garden and that the thing she was petting was a black rabbit. Wow, that's the first time I've seen an entirely black rabbit. The woman was muttering something I couldn't understand, but it didn't seem like casual words at all.

«Who's that?» I whispered. Miki leaned a bit closer to me and answered: «Naho Saenoki. The few times I've spoken with her, she seems nice. But seriously … Every time I see her, a new animal is in her garden. It's really creepy.» I wanted to take another look at her, but completely froze when Naho's eyes almost pinned me down with her ice-cold stare.

W-What? I just stood there and looked back at her. She was still mumbling and eventually looked down at the grass again. Oh my god, that was so scary… «Um… Onii-san?» Miki asked and tugged on my sleeve. «Mm, sorry. Let's go,» I said and kept walking. That wasn't enough for Miki, but she kept leading the way. When we got to her school, she told me that the hill was just a road ahead of the school. With much appreciation from me, I went there and hoped that I would recover at least a few memories.

…

Woah…

The name really speaks for itself. I knew that the hill was very high above the ground, butt hat didn't matter at all. What kind of magic made the grass here completely dry? I thought that the fresh green color looked decieving, so I ran my hand through it to make sure. Damn. Looking below me, I could easily see that the hundreads of houses and buildings were soaking wet and getting hit with neverending raindrops. The hill where the rain doesn't reach, huh…? Alright, enough about that. I need to search my mind again.

I turned around and walked with heavy legs to the small bushes and trees. Does anything seem familiar at all? I carefully touched the small leaves on the bush that was filled with small, red berries. Huh? I went back a few steps and took in the sight of the berries. Yes… Yes! I know this…

 _«Auu… Auu,» the small, snow-dressed animal whimpered out and rubbed its face against my knee. Huh? I just found it, but it's already being so clingy. «Are you hungry?» I asked it and gently rubbed its ears. Those big, blue eyes were so gorgeous, I almost felt like crying. «Hey, don't worry!» I said and looked around quickly. There are supposed to be fruit here, right? I smiled and ran to the bush with the red berries and picked up a handful of them._

 _«Here ya go. I don't think they're poisionous,» I reassured it and held my hand right in front of its small nose. After sniffing it for a few short seconds, it started to nibble on the berries. As if getting used to the incredibly sweet taste, it ate a bit more recklessly. «Hehe… You sure love these berries, huh?» «Auu!» It happily squeaked out. Oh… I can't just leave it here…_

I had to cover my mouth in surprise at that memory. It was first when I brought it home with met hat mom explained to me that it was a female arctic fox. I reached out to pick a berry and popped it in my mouth. The sickly sweet sensation made my whole mouth water up and swell. Ah … It tastes just like those sweets you would get when you're a little kid. Hmm, maybe there are some other things by the larger bushes? Really tempted by the idea, I went to the small hedges, but stopped when I saw a silhuette by one of them.

Ice-cold water ran down my spine and I almost fell onto my knees in shock. Wait… Is that a corpse? I sneaked up on it and saw a pair of pale legs behind the hedge. I held my breath and slowly looked behind it to see the remaining of the silhuette.

Oh… Well, that wasn't so bad. Wait, what am I thinking?! This is bad!

It was a small girl with long, dark-blue hair and small, soft features that was laying down on the grass with her eyes closed. She was wearing a denim jacket, denim shorts and a pastel-yellow top underneath. I couldn't avoid the fact that she looked stunningly pretty that she made me nervous, but that wasn't the main issue.

She seems… familiar.

Could she be a celebrity or something? I feel like I've seen her many times before, so I don't think she's the face I need to remember either. Damn, why did I even concider that. For fuck's sake, I've seen her before somewhere! Ugh…

Is she unconcious? I sat down on the grass and lightly shook her delicate figure. «Hey… Hey! Are you awake?» I asked her and kept shaking her. She didn't budge, so I lightly tapped her cheek with an open fist. Oh god, this is so not good! Is she even alive?! I had to ignore my embarrassment when I put my cheek against her breast. Thank god… Thank fucking god…

I sighed in relief and picked up my phone from my pocket. If she's just unconcious, it won't be a huge problem if I take her home with me, eh? W-Wait, why do I sound like a perv?! She'll get really confused, though… It'll be a pain to explain it all to her, but I have no choice if I want some answers from her. If she is the face I had to remember, she would remember me, right? It's worth a shot. I found mo mon my contact list and typed:

 _Hey mom._

 _You're probably at work right now, but I need to inform you on this. This might sound a little crazy, but I found an unconcious girl at the hill where the rain doesn't reach. I think she fainted or something, so I'll bring her home and try to nurse her._

 _Have a good day._

I pressed send, put the phone back in my pocket and tried to pick her up. Amazin', she's so light! I carried her in bridal style and started walking. I might be stared at by others, but I'll just have to bear with it.

I'll do anything to get some answers now.

 **A/N: Yay, the plot has finally started for real! Plz tell me your thoughts! UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter 3 is up! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

«Yoshiki!» I heard after I heard the door close for the second time. Miki didn't get time to take off her shoes before mom burst through the door in panic.

«Geez, calm down!» I hissed out. I came home a few hours earlier and laid the girl down on the couch in the living room. She didn't have any wounds and she wasn't sick either. It was almost like she'd just been born or something, because of how clean and pure she looked. She still hasn't regained conciousness. I was prepared to explain everything to her when she woke up, so I always stood next to her and watched in case she would suddenly wake up.

Mom and Miki went as quickly as they could to us. «She still hasn't woken up?» mom asked. I shook my head. «She's still breathing, though,» I informed. «Woah … She's so cute!» Miki blurted out and stared intently at the girl with the peacefully closed eyes. «I wonder… It's strange, I feel like I've seen her before,» mom muttered under her breath. My face lit up and I blurted out: «Right? I thought the exact same thing. Though, I can't put my finger on it…» «Nah, she's just a pretty girl to me,» Miki said. I crossed my arms frustratedly when I once again tride to place her.

«Yoshiki, I think we should call an ambulance. What if she's in a coma?» mom said worriedly. I shrugged. Ugh, there's no point in dragging out the time. You know that you can't keep her here forever! If I really need answers, I'll just visit her at the hospital. Just as I was going to obey mom, we heard a brief sigh from the couch.

All three of us turned to the girl in shock and watched her as she squirmed around underneath the blanket and let out small noises. «She's waking up…!» Miki whispered, both in joy and surprise. The moment she opened her eyes and stared into my own… My god.

That haunting gaze sent millions of brief memories pounding against my skull. Those deep, blue eyes just oozed of a beauty strong enough to make me draw my breath. I've definitely seen her before. I know I have.

«Huh…?» she whispered with a sugarly sweet voice. «W-Where am I…?» Right, I need to explain. «Um…» I hesitated. It's only normal to be nervous while talking to such a charming girl, isn't it? «Sorry for confusing you like this, miss. I found you unconcious at a hill, so brought you home with me,» I started. The sat up and looked at me again, but with a much more intense stare. Huh… Okay, now she's kinda freaking me out.

Then all of sudden, I felt my self wobbling backwards.

«Onii-san!» I heard Miki yell. I couldn't see her face, since my eyes were gazing at the roof. God, my cheek hurts like hell! What just happened? Miki helped me up and I saw the girl with a close fist. Her gaze was so furious it scared me. Did she punch me!?

«W-… What the hell?!» I yelled at her. The girl bit her lip and took a hold of her fist with her other hand. At least she looks like she regretted it. «Now, why did you do that?» mom asked as calmly as she could. She was clearly upset that I got hurt.

«I.. I… He was going to hurt me!» she said. I raised an eyebrow. I was going to protest, but mom showed me her hand, telling me to wait up. «Sweetie, none of us are going to hurt you. We only want to help you,» mom said soothingly and stroked her long, soft-looking hair. She seemed to calm down, since she nodded and let mom ask her questions.

«What's your name?» she asked first. «… Ayumi,» the girl said. No last name? «Alright Ayumi, do you know what happened to you?» mom asked. After a thinking pause, she shook her head. «I can't remember anything,» she explained. «All I can remember is my name and that … No one is waiting for me.»

«Huh?» Miki mumbled. «What do you mean?» mom asked. «It's not just a feeling. I know that I don't have any family left. I'm all alone,» she explained. Her eyes with filled with a roaming sadness clear enough for all three of us to see. «You poor thing…» mom said with sympathy. She looked at me and Miki. It was easy to understand what she was thinking, as kind and thoughtful as mom was.

«Ayumi, you're free to stay here with us if you want. Even if you don't have any family left, you must live somewhere. Therefore, you can stay here until you recover your memories,» mom requested. Ayumi's eyes widened in suprise. «You… Are you being truthful?» she asked. Is it just me, or is her way of speaking a little more on the formal side?

«Of course. We can't let a helpless young woman like you to go around with no place to stay,» mom said and smiled. My desire to get some information from her had decreased a bit after that punch, but I still thought that I should try at least. That's why I didn't protest after reading mom's thoughts.

Ayumi folded her hands together and looked like she was about to cry. «You're being so kind to me… Even though you haven't met me before?» she asked. Mom laughed and nodded. «Well… If I'm not being a nuicanse, I'd be glad to!» Ayumi said. «It's decided then. Since Yoshiki found you, you'll be sleeping in his room, okay?» mom said and grinned. Excuse me?!

«W-What?!» Ayumi blurted out and looked at me again. Thank god that evil glare is gone… «Mom, I don't know what it is, but something about her makes me believe that she hates my guts. Just a feeling,» I said sarcastically. «Too bad. Ayumi, see this as a condition. Okay?» mom said. Ayumi sighed and nodded. «It's the least I can do to thank you,» she muttered and crossed her arms.

…

«Goodnight, Ayumi-san!» I heard Miki say just outside my door. Fuck, I know what that means… «Ah… You too, Miki-chan,» I heard Ayumi say just a second before the doorhandle on my door got turned.

I looked up from the manga I was reading and saw Ayumi standing in the door opening, wearing a pair of Miki's pajamast hat surprisingly fit her perfectly. She didn't look angry anymore, not did she during dinner. Well, I'm glad her anger has subsided.

«Hey,» I simply said. «Mm…» she mumbled and closed the door behind her. «Mom fixed a futon for you over there,» I said and pointed at the futon that was spread out just a meter away from my bed. «Okay,» Ayumi said and just tucked in without saying another word. It's getting late, so I should probably go to sleep too… I stretched my arms, yawned and tucked in as well.

«No…» I heard Ayumi whisper right before I was going to turn off the lamp on my drawer. Her eyebrows were knitted together in fear. «Are you… afriad of the dark?» I asked her. «… I don't like the dark,» she said. Heh… The way she denies it, though. «Okay then,» I said and let the lamp stay on.

«Nee… Yoshiki, right?» she asked. After a few minutes of silence, I was surprised that she actually spoke to me. «Yeah?» I asked. «I'm sorry…» she said in a low voice. «Hm?» I asked. My teasing nature showed itself again. «I'm sorry for punching you earlier! And it's not like I don't know why I did it!» she said annoyed. Oh?

«Okay? Then, why did you do that?» I asked. Ayumi sat up, wearing an ashamed expression on her face. «There was just something about you that… pissed me off,» she said. «Huh?» I muttered questiongly. «When I looked at you, I felt an intense anger welling up inside me. So much that I… wanted to hit you. But I promise, I won't ever hit you again, no matter how much you piss me off!» she explained. I cocked my head to the side. Or I think I did. It's difficult to remember, since my mind was too focused on the memory I got back at that moment:

 _«Her name is Ayumi! I don't know her last name though, it was kinda complicated. My gosh, you should've seen her!» I bragged about the girl I'd seen just a few hours earlier. I was laying down on the grass in the garden, looking up at the clear sky with the baby fox laying down next to me. It was one of the few days that were sunny._

 _«Auu?» the baby fox let out. «She was so pretty! Like, really white skin, dark-blue hair and doll-like, blue eyes!» I described to her. Its tail wailed to the left and right, absorbed in our talk. «Y'know… I was thinking of inviting her over before I go back home to dad. Then you'll meet her! I'm sure she'll like you!» I said and lightly scratched her behind her snow-white ear. «Auu… Au...» she purred out like a cat and sat down on my lap._

 _Ayumi._

«Holy…» Now I fucking remember. Ayumi, she's… She really is the face. She's the face I wasn't supposed to forget. I mean, she must be! I met her during my last visit and developed a crush on her! Holy, holy, holy….

«Um, Yoshiki?» Ayumi asked. No, I shouldn't explain absolutely everything to her. «Ayumi… I think I know who you are,» I said. Her eyes widened in shock. «W-What?!» she yelled. «Listen…» I said to calm her down first. «I thought that you looked familiar. Now I know why. I think I met you before when we were both children.»

She covered her mouth with both hands. «So… Maybe that's why I had a grudge on you. Maybe you did something to me?» she suggested. «Err…» I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything. Why the hell would I hurt the girl I liked?

«But y'know… It might help to show you around town. You might regain some of your memories if you're around familiar buildings,» I said. «So…» she mumbled. I chuckled and explained: «I'm asking you if we should go to town tomorrow.» «Alright… Geez, you could've just said that,» she said. Even though she sounded annoyed, her eyes shone with kindness. Also, she smiled.

Wow…

Even though I've met her before, I think…

…I think that's the first time I've ever seen Ayumi smile.

 **A/N: Aww… Plz tell me your thoughts! UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This a/n will be long as fuck since I have some news I would love to share XD First of all, I've applied for a writing school that's arranged by one of the biggest publishers in Norway (Gyldendal)! I might get in, if they like the text I've sent in! They'll start reading my text the April 15th, and they'll decide around June. They just sent me a mail and said that if I get in, there'll be a big possibility that I'll be able to release a book. A real book! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited! BUT, there'll also be a few not-so-good news. If I do get in, I might not be able to write as many fanfics as I usually do, since I'll be busy studying. However, that does NOT mean that I'll be abondining you guys! I'll keep doing my best, but after this fic is finished, it might take a while before I keep publishing stories. I hope you guys understand that! But anyways, wish me luck! PLZ ENJOY CHAPTER 4 ;3**

What the God of fuck… Both me, mom and Miki stared astonished at Ayumi as she practically threw the grilled cheese sandwich in her mouth. Her loud chomps even added to the wilderness. Hold up, did she eat like this during yesterday's dinner too? I tried to remember. Nah, mom made soup. She did spill a bit, but nothing out of the ordinary. This is just… no.

«Ahh…» Ayumi let out a deep sigh after the whole breakfast had run down to her stomach. The three of us had barely eaten a crumble because of her, but honestly… I got really sick by just watching her eat that way.

«That was delicious! Gochisousama!» Ayumi said surprisingly polite and put the dirty dishes in the sink. Mom got knocked out of her trance. «O-Oh, yes. I'm glad you liked it,» mom said. I chuckled and muttered under my breath: «Wasn't too hard to notice.»

«What was that?!» Ayumi yelled from the kitchen and ran towards me. Hearing goals, right there. She wrapped her elbows around my neck from behind and shook my head. Miki laughed at us and commented: «It's such a relief to see you two getting along.»

Ayumi stopped shaking me and just looked at her. She then let go of me, hastily. When I think about it, Miki's kinda right about that. Even though she tried to choke me, her arms were gentle. She didn't want to hurt me for real, just like she promised last night. That's a relief…

«So, you two are going out to town later?» mom asked. «Mhm. We thought it would trigger her memories a bit,» I replied. «Ah, that makes sense. I hope things will turn out your way, then,» mom said and gave us a weak smile. She looks a little tired…

…

«It's amazing how Miki's clothes fit you so well,» I snickered out as I watched Ayumi in Miki's coat and rainboots. Actually kinda cute. No, really cute. Super-cute! «Don't laugh…» Ayumi mumbled shyly and puffed out her cheeks. Gosh… «Hehe… Sorry, sorry,» I said and rubbed the top of her head. A small smile crept up to her lips before she said: «Come on, stop the pity-party. I would like to see the city as soon as possible.» «Alrighty, let's go!» I said and opened the door. I wonder what it was that made me automatically grab her hand. She didn't mind, though. Heh, and I thought she hated me.

«Nee, Yoshiki. What's the city like?» Ayumi asked as we walked down the street. «Well… There are a lot of tall buildings everywhere. There's basically a store for every thing. It'll be a lot of fun, trust me,» I assured her. «Fun?» She raised an eyebrow and said: «I thought we were focusing on getting my memories back!» «We are, but I don't want a visit to the city to get all gloomy because of that. So, we're gonna have some fun too!» I said and raised my fist in the air. «I can't believe you…» she whispered. I thought she tried to diss me… until I heard her laugh. God, my belly gets all fuzzy just remembering her laugh… How could someone like her make me that happy by just… laughing?

But all that happiness went away when I felt Ayumi's body stop moving and her gaze focusing on a figure by a neighbor's house.

«Oh…» I let out when I saw that creepy neighbor with a new animal. Her name was… Naho, right? This time it was a tiny fox laying on the grass with her while she was mumbling a few words. Only this time, I could actually understand some bits. «You only have to know what the creature looks like… And you have to have a strong enough desire,» was all I could understand. That only left me more puzzled. That is one hell of a freaky woman.

«Ayumi… Do you know her?» I asked. Her mouth was half-closed and she was staring at Naho quite intently. «I-I don't know… But there's something about her. She gives me almost the same vibe as you give me. Fear, sorrow and frustration…» she stammered out. She was shivering, and I could tell that it wasn't just because the thick, grey clouds were covering the sunshine. This will only get more uncomfortable for her if I keep her here any longer.

I lightly nudged on her coat and whispered: «C'mon. Don't worry about things you can't do anything about.» Ayumi gulped and seemed hesitant, but eventually mumbled: «Uh-huh…» She forcefully turned her head and followed me. I just hope that she'll be able to forget every thing as long as I distract her enough.

…

«Waaaah! That smells so good! What is that?»

«Umm… Are you seriously telling me that you've never had waffles before?» I asked her as she stared at the square-shaped, fresh waffle with maple syrup like she'd never seen anything like it. «No. What's so wrong with that?» she asked and frowned. «Nothing. I feel honored to have taken your virginity,» I said casually. «WHAT?!» she yelled. I laughed and explained: «Your _taste-bud_ virginity. Seriously, waffles are one of the best things in the world. Especially belgian ones.» «Hmm…» She sounded sceptical, but the after the first bite, her eyes started sparkling like crazy.

«I-It's sweet!» she blurted out and licked a few drops of maple syrup. «You bet it's sweet. You should try it with chocolate syrup too, or hot fudge. Both are addictingly good,» I suggested. I doubt that she was listening, since she was way too busy eating.

«Wow… It's so sweet… Almost as sweet as—

If it hadn't been for my lightning-speed reflex, Ayumi's waffle would've been long gone. She stared right ahead with empty eyes. Is she in a state of shock? I shook her by the shoulders and called out her name. It seemed to work.

«R-… Rosenberries…» she said in a low voice. «Huh?» I asked. She was finally back to her old self, to my relief. «Rosenberries. The're blood-red berries that taste like pure sugar. I remember… I love rosenberries…» she said and laughed a bit. Rosenberries… Is that what those berries are called? The berries that grows at the hill where the rain doesn't reach? That means that I must have played with her there once while we were both children. I've gotten one clue now, at least.

I smiled widely at her. «That's a huge step forward. Just keep going like this, and I'm sure you'll recover all of your memories in no time,» I said. «Yeah… Maybe you're right,» Ayumi said and looked up at me with eyes filled with hope. I don't know why… My heart just beats like crazy every time she looks into my eyes like that. Maybe that's why I developed a crush on her when we were younger? No, the main reason must have been because she was pretty…

…

«It's so quiet in here…» I heard Ayumi mumble. «Yeah. 'Cause it's a library,» I said matter-of-factly. «So… Just because people are reading, we have to be quiet?» she asked. I couldn't even laugh at how stupid that question was. Was she really born yesterday? «For your information, it's common knowledge that it's easier to concentrate on what you're reading when it's quiet,» I informed her. «Ah…» She was messing around in a bookshelf, filled with books about supernatural creatures from the whole world. I wonder if she knows about the demons of light… I want to ask her, but in a way that doesn't seem forcing.

I stood next to her and started looking for local legends. These stories were normally popular in this public library, so it was hard to get my hands on one. I was lucky that there was a single book about it left. I took it out and read the title out loud.

«Hm… "The Demons of Light", huh? Do you know that story, Ayumi?» I asked her. She turned to me and cocked her head to the side questioningly. «Demons…?» she muttered. «Of light. It's a local legend,» I explained. «Huh… I don't think so,» she replied. Hmm… She seems like the type of person that would love those kind of stories, eh? Ayumi took a hold of the book and read the summary on the back. «Oh…» she blurted out while reading. She seems interested enough.

«This looks so cool… I had no idea this town had its own legends,» she said. I looked up at the ceiling in the library. Even when I asked her to come with me to city last night, I knew that only a tiny portion of it was because I wanted her to regain her memory. I honestly just wanted to know why I fell in love with her. I gathered up my courage.

«Want me to tell you about it?»

 **A/N: Hmmm… Does Yoshiki really know the whole truth? What do you guys think? Feel free to comment about your theories! UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Chapter 5 is up! Already halfway through, damn! Anyways, PLZ ENOY ;3**

«That is so cool! So they can basically turn into whichever animal they want?» Ayumi asked as on the way back. Since I only gave her a short explanation at the library, Ayumi begged me to let her borrow the book. Not only that, but she also asked for details the whole way back home.

«Yeah, but they need to know what the animals look like,» I answered. «Waaaah…!» she gasped and bounced like a little kid. «Say, Yoshiki. How do you know so much about the demons of light?» Ayumi asked. I looked back at the time when all of us lived here in this rainy town as a family. From the time I was three, mom always told me about the legend as a kind of bed-time story. «Well… Most of the childhood-memories I have is of the bed-time stories. I were really into that story too, especially since it was a local one,» I explained. «Oh, sounds nice! Hey, can you—

Ayumi didn't finish her sentence. Was she flustered? Yeah, why else would her cheeks get flushed like that? «Don't be shy,» I said. «I'm not being shy! I just…» Ayumi hesitated. I crossed my arms. She sighed when she reckoned my irritation and finally said: «Could you… before we go to sleep… tell me bedtime stories…?»

The second after she asked that, she covered her face with her hands. Bedtime stories, huh… Why was that so embarassing to ask for? I guess she wants to have something to enjoy, when she can't remember anything. I'll give her that oppurtunity with a smile on my face.

«Sure. I know a lot of them,» I replied. Ayumi removed her hands and looked up at me as if God had come down on earth. «Thank you so much! I never had anyone to tell me stories before, so…» she said sadly. «Another thing you remembered?» I asked. She nodded. «It's connected with the fact that I don't have any familiy left,» she said. I nodded understandingly. I'm glad that she does recover memories, little by little. However at the same time, I'm worried that all of her lost memories might be painful. Perhaps that's why she lost them? Because of amnesia?

«W-Woah!» she suddenly shrieked out, making me reflexively grab her. Good thing I did. Otherwise, she would've probably gotten a small wound.

«You okay?» I asked her. She felt like a rag doll in my arms, weakened. How did she stumble like that? «Mhm…» she said weakly and tried to get up on her own, only to lose her footing once again. «Easy there!» I said and held her up, just like I did when I found her. I felt an unbelievable heat when I touched her forehead.

«You've pushed yourself too hard, Ayumi,» I said. «H-Hey, let me down…» she said embarassed and with half-lidded eyes. How did she get this sick so suddenly? «We're going home,» I said and started running towards our house while carrying Ayumi bridal-styled.

…

«How is she?» mom asked worriedly with her arms crossed when I closed the door to my room behind me. Luckily, Ayumi had fallen asleep so she would get the shut-eye she needed. «She still has a bit of a fever and she's really weak, but otherwise…» I said. «I see… Goodness, how did she get that ill?» she asked. I shrugged. It all happened so suddenly, and she didn't have a fatigue during our trip either…

Mom sighed and said: «Oh well… I'm glad you watched over her, Yoshiki.» I nodded at her. Mom gave me a kiss on the forehead and said: «Your father raised you well, didn't he? You're such a good boy.» I scratched the back of my neck embarassed. Dad had never praised me like this. He hardly ever touched me, even. «Honestly, mom… I think it's you that influenced me the most,» I admitted. She looked confused for a second, but her expression gradually softened up. She doesn't really believe me, does she? It's not hard to see that she must've been thinking lowly of herself.

«I'll tell you when dinner's ready,» mom said before going downstairs to continue on her hot-pot. Miki'll get home soon… I don't really have anything to do but to look after Ayumi, do I? But she needs some rest, so… I had brought the book about the demons of light out of the room and I didn't even notice. I guess I'll read it. Preferably downstairs where the couch is.

…

The rain that was pouring down only added to the mysterious atmosphere that surrounded me as I was reading. The air was filled with the wonderful smell of the meat mom had added in the hot-pot. To read about the demons of light really refreshed my memories and I remembered details I'd completely forgotten. One of the few things I didn't know were actually really interesting…

 _The woman that is born to recieve and take care of the demons of light is called The Mother. As of the time this book is published, it is The 18th Mother that's alive. If the demons ever are in need, The Mother will come to their need. However, after that has happened, The Mother must have something in return. It could be anything, as long as it has the same value as the help The Mother gave._

I went to the first page to see which year the book came out. Hm, just two years ago. So The 18th Mother is still alive. Geez, I'm getting way too into this. I'll start believing this if I don't stop now. Oh well… One more page won't hurt. When I went to the next page… well…

… A part of me wished that I didn't do that.

The first thing I saw, was a sketch of a young woman sitting down on a chair. Underneath was a small text, saying:

 _In 1989, a man claimed to be an eyewitness of The 17th Mother. He contacted a professional sketch artist and described the woman he saw as detailed as he could as the artist drew a sketch of her. The man said that he saw the woman at the hill where the rain doesn't reach. She was having her arms stretched out towards the sky as a raccoon floated down from the sky. To this day, we still don't know if this is true or not._

That sketch… Short, dark-blue hair, dark eyes, glasses….

She looks creepily identical to Naho.

«Oh no!» I heard a familiar voice shout from outdoors, but I didn't notice it at first because of the shock. It can't be her. That was The 17th Mother anyways, butt hat only means that it could be Naho's mother… Wait, what am I thinking?! Even the book says that it's still not confirmed wether that even is the 17th mother! Ugh, whatever… I need to check what the fuss outside is about.

…

I thought that it was Miki at first, so I got pretty surprised when I saw Ayumi by the tree in our garden, her back faced to me. What the—How the hell did she get here without me noticing. Damn, that book seriously sucked me up! I ran towards her and put my hand on her shoulder.

Ayumi flinched, but turned around. She had tears in her eyes, or maybe it was just raindrops. She was completely soaked and she was holding something in her hands. «Y-Yoshiki…» she said, her voice even weaker than before.

«Ayumi, what are you doing here?! You need to rest!» I said, scolding her. She pouted and showed me what was in her hands. I immediately regretted scolding her when I saw the tiny bird in her hands with soaked wings and a small red spot just above its leg.

«Oh god… Where did you find it?» I asked her. «I-It was just here, and… It was abonded. It must have fallen down from its nest and now the parents have flown away!» she explained. The bird was still moving, but it seemed very vulnerable. Gosh, my chest tightens so much by just thinking what that poor thing is going through.

«We can't leave it here! Please, let's take care of it!» she begged me, extremely desperate. Even if it's just a bird... She's right. We can't leave it here.

…

«Hmmm… This seems like a he. But gosh, it's so little and delicate,» mom said as she examined the baby bird. «Will he be okay?» I asked. «As long as we give him the nutritions he needs and tend his wounds, I'm sure he'll make it,» mom said and smiled. Both me and Ayumi sighed in relief. «We'll have to keep him until he learns to fly, I suppose,» mom added. Another family member, huh? Don't tell me I need to call him a little brother now…

«So… What should we name him?» Miki asked from the couch. «Name him?» Ayumi repeated. «He's now a member of the family, isn't he? He deserves a good name,» mom said and chuckled as she wrapped a bandage around his wound.

«Hey, why don't we let Ayumi decide? She's the one who found him after all,» I suggested. «W-What?» Ayumi stuttered out, flustered for some reason. «Alright then. What would you like to call him, Ayumi?» mom asked. Ayumi looked quite troubled, but she kept her calm cool and thought for a while.

«What about… Pippi?» she suddenly said. «Pippi?» all three of repeated in sync. Ayumi blushed. «I-I just thought since he's a bird… And he makes those noises,» she said. Oh… Well, it's not a bad name, but it makes me think of that Swedish girl, Pippi Longstockings. Oh well, I strongly doubt that Ayumi even knows that Sweden is a country.

«I think it's a great name!» Miki said. I nodded in agreement. «It's decided then. Welcome to the family, Pippi!» mom said and stroked his wounded wing. I gently put my arm around Ayumi and pulled her close to me. That moment should have been a sweet one, but it turned grim when I noticed that Ayumi's body heat only increased. She smiled back at me and whispered: «I'm kinda tired… Can we go back to your room?» I nodded at her and let her hold onto my arm as we unsteadily went up to our room.

 **A/N: Lol, Pippi XD My childhood has been revived! What do you guys think about this fic so far? Plz tell me! UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter 6 is up! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

«Yoshikiii… I want to sleep…» Ayumi rambled when I carefully laid her down. «Who gave you tequila, girl?» I asked and chuckled. It was as if she was drunk or something, because of how tired she was. «Te- Say what?» she asked. I shook my head frustrated. There's no use. I wonder why Ayumi knows so little about the world…

«Y'know… You don't know much about the world, do you?» I asked her. Ayumi cocked her head to the side. «I guess… I've heard people in the city talk about "Teliphones" and "Peices", but I'm sure those are just some kind of swearwords, don't you think?» she said. I covered my mouth and tried to choke down my laugh. I collected myself before I asked: «Do you mean «telephones» and «pc's»?» Her eyes widened. «That's so embarassing!» she whined out. I laughed at her and rubbed her head. Heh, her hair is really soft. Almost like cotton. Ayumi closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation.

«So you don't know what those are, either?» I asked. She shook her head. «I was thinking… Maybe you're from the country side? I mean, the hill where the rain doesn't reach is not that far from there. Plus, it's normal to believe that since you're not familiar with the newer things coming out,» I said. I'd thought about thar for a while, but I didn't think it was that likely. In all of those memories I had of me and her, I saw modern houses. «Ah… That could be it,» she whispered and yawned.

I smiled and tucked in my own bed to let her sleep, but Ayumi still wasn't ready. «You promised…» she said. Promise…? Oh, I almost forgot! I sat up in my bed and crept closer to her. «What would you like to hear? Romance, horror, fantasy…» I asked. «… Anything,» she answered. Anything at all, huh? Searching my mind, I started telling the first fairy tale I ever heard.

…

«…The prince finally got his eyesight back after Rapunzel's tears touched his eyes. Tears of her love for him. They were finally reunited as lovers. And so, the prince brought Rapunzel back to his kingdom where both of them were welcomed with joy. They lived happily ever after…»

«That was amazing…» Ayumi sighed out, happy. No matter how tired she was, she kept listening and seemed very into the story about the girl with the gorgeous, long hair. «You should go to sleep now, if you want to get better,» I said. Ayumi slowly nodded but all of sudden, her eyes widened when she laid her eyes on an object on my drawer.

«That thing…» she said and pointed at the music box with a shaky finger. I turned around and poked out my bottom lip when I saw it. I can't believe mom still kept it, even when dad moved out with me. I still remember the song, though… All by heart.

I took it down from my drawer and showed it to her. «It was a birtday gift from mom,» I explained. «I see… I just remembered something,» Ayumi said. «What?» I asked. «I loved music boxes… Every time I saw one, my mind got filled with sweet memories,» she said. Ah, she recovered a memory. This is going well. «Wanna listen? It's a really beautiful song,» I said. «Mm…» she replied and tiredly closed her eyes. I gently opened the lid and let the plinging melody spread out in my room.

I remember… I loved this melody so much that I even shared it to the arctic fox. She fell asleep peacefully everytime she heard it. Maybe it'll work on Ayumi too? The song had played several times when Ayumi asked: «What's it called…?» «Last regrets,» I replied. «Oh…» She gradually closed her eyes and her breathing got heavier.

Several minutes passed without her moving, so I assumed that she'd finally fallen asleep. I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and whispered: «Get better soon, got it? It's getting boring without your cheerful spirit…» Then, I closed the music box, planted a small kiss on her forehead and tucked in myself. Heh, I'm almost acting like a mother. Ayako Kishinuma, to be exact. I closed my eyes, not turning off the light and drifted into sleep.

…

It had already been 3 weeks since we took Pippi into our home. Not much had happened, except for many small moments filled with joy. First of all, more sunny days were coming, which meant that summer was on its way.

Pippi's wound had healed a lot, so he was always walking around the house like a real family member. That also meant that we always had to look beneath our feet, since he would always pop out of nowhere.

I had to keep searching up stories to satisfy Ayumi during the nights. Wait, that sounded unintentionally dirty. But along with that, I also needed to search up some information about The Mothers. It only lead to more shock, to be honest. I was absolutely convinced that the woman in the book was Naho's mother when I found out that the woman's surname was in fact «Saenoki». However, I couldn't bring myself to believe that Naho seriously was The 18th Mother, even though I always saw her around small animals. So I decided to let it all go, no matter how crazy it sounded. I had worse things to worry about anyways…

…

«Morning, Yoshiki!» a person I couldn't believe was Ayumi said. I stopped walking to process the image of her sitting by the breakfast table with mom and Miki for the first time in 3 weeks. «What the hell!?» I finally managed to yell out.

«Geez, you're overreacting…» Ayumi frowned and lifted the glass with milk up to her lips. In the past three weeks, Ayumi had recovered small memories which somehow caused her to get worse. She was always tired and she almost forgot how to walk. We even had to bring the meals to her as she rested in my room. It was really surprising to see her eating with us after all that has happened.

I gulped and sat down next to her to have breakfast with everyone. I even saw Pippi nibbling on some sunflower seeds next to Ayumi. «Ayumi felt a lot better all of sudden and she begged me to let her eat with us. This girl is stubborn as a mule,» mom said and laughed. «You got that right,» I muttered. «You're so meeeean!» Ayumi whined out. That just made me laugh more.

I put my hand on her head and said: «Relax. Being stubborn isn't necessarily a bad thing.» She puffed up her cheeks and muttered: «How can you be so sure?» «Remember Mulan?» I asked. Ayumi nodded, confused at why I suddenly brought her up. «She was just an ordinary girl to begin with. But because she was so stubborn, she ended up saving China. Take that as an inspiration,» I said and winked at her. She giggled and nodded.

«Oh, by the way! Can we please go out and with Pippi later? We need to teach him how to fly!» Miki said. I turned to Ayumi and asked: «What do you say?» «I say, why wait?» she answered and giggled. Ah, it feels so good to see her smile again…

…

«Come on, Pippi! Just spread your wings! Like this, look!» Miki desperately yelled and waved her arms violently in front of the dumbfounded Pippi. «Wow… I don't want to admit it since she's so nice, but… She's really so childish,» Ayumi giggled from beside me. «Oh yeah? You're just as childish as her, miss,» I said teasingly. Ayumi got up and put her hands on her hips.

«That's not true! I'm and adult, do you hear me? I'm an adult!» she protested. «Is that so?» I asked. «Mhm!» she said confidently. Just then, I got the most devilish idea ever.

I picked up some money from my pocket, handed it to her and said: «If that's so, then go to the bookstore and buy me a porno magazine. Only if you're feeling well enough, that is.» Ayumi cocked her head to the side and repeated: «Porno magazine? What's that?» «It's a magazine with lots of adult content on it. Pretty useful. Just ask the cashier to bring you one and everything will be fine,» I said. It wasn't teachnically a lie. «Okay! I'll be right back!» Ayumi cheerfully said and unsteadily went off on her own. I hope she's not pushing herself. Besides, I can't wait for her reaction when she finds out what a porno magazine really is… Muahahahaha!

«Hey, where did Ayumi go off to?» Miki asked with Pippi right next to her on the grass. «Oh… Nothing much, she's just going to buy me a porno magazine,» I casually said. 1 second. 2 seconds. 2 and a half. «WHAT?!» Miki yelled and immediately started running in the same direction Ayumi had walked. I laughed and leaned back, feeling at ease and happy. I've finally gotten some hope back. Ayumi's getting better… Haaa….

«Onii-san!»

The moment I heard Miki's panicked voice, I instantly opened my eyes and got up from the grass. In front of me was a panting Miki with sweat running down her forehead. «What's the m—

My mind stopped working when I noticed Ayumi's lifeless body in Miki's arms.

 **A/N: Oh shiat. Was Ayumi really okay? Find out in the next chapter! UNTIL THEN ;3**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Chapter 7 is up! The plot will now take a turn for the more dramatic side. You guys should definitely look up «Last regrets» by Lia. (Wow, once again I base my stories off songs… Godt jobbet, Senpai's Boo XD) It's really beautiful and fits the plot very well! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

For God's sake Ayumi…! I kinda wanted to just shake her violently awake and immediately ask her why she pushed herself again. She lied. She wasn't okay. She had never gotten better. All she wanted, was to just not make us worry anymore. That sounds like a reasonable explanation, doesn't it?

I carefully stroked her hair as she slept in peace in the futon beside my bed. She looks so at ease… I'm glad. «There's no need to be restless in your dreams,» I whispered and kissed her on the forehead. Oh… her cheeks are getting red. Thank god she's still concious, in a way. My gaze fell on her small, supple lips. My breath hitched at my crazy idea and I got so restless. It was hard to resist, unless I thought about Ayumi's feelings. I would hate to steal her first without her knowing it, and maybe not even wanting it. «Don't worry, Ayumi… I'll take these feelings to the grave,» I said and chuckled to myself.

…

Both Miki and mom were sitting by the table, very depressed and in deep thought. Miki looked up at me and asked: «Has she woken up yet?» I shook my head. «It makes me so upset… She's really good at covering her suffering. Puh… As if that's a good point,» I muttered and frustradely ran my hand through my hair. «I'll go and watch over her,» Miki said. Both me and mom nodded at her before she went upstairs, so I took Miki's place.

«That Ayumi… How troublesome can she be?» mom sighed out and crossed her arms. «Yeah… But she just wants to stop being a nuisance,» I said. «Dear, how could she ever become a nuisance? She's lived here for almost a month! I already see her as a daughter,» mom said warmly. «Heh… You really were born to be a mother, weren't you?» I mumbled and breathed out a laugh.

Huh? W-Why is she staring at me like that? Mom gently touched her red bottom lip with her thumb and said: «Isao said the same thing… right before we split up.» My heart dropped down to my belly when I heard dad's name. From the time I went back here, it felt like I was sucked up in another world. Now it just feels sad to think about my life before this town.

«Was that why you divorced? Come to think of it, you never gave me a real explanation. Neither did dad. You just said that you wanted to end it before you ended up with bruises and cuts,» I said. Wow, I still remember that. Do you think I believed that? They were never arguing, even. They always, always agreed on everything. Even at a young age, I could tell that they wanted to seperate peacefully for both Miki and me.

Mom sighed and smiled bitterly. «It's true as you say… I was scared to tell you the _real_ reason,» she said. I nodded at her, telling her to continue.

«Your father and I cared about one another. I was his classmate in college, and we pretty much just clicked right away. We were happy. Butt hen after we got married and had two wonderful kids… It's like the legobricks were getting too big to fit. Do you know what I mean?»

I shrugged. I did know what she meant by that metaphore, but I didn't get how that helped her explanation. «Isao felt that too. He didn't feel like a husband. He felt like a father, and only a father. We did care about each other, but not enough to remain as lovers. It's quite a lesson that I need to teach both you and Miki about, actually. Whenever you start dating someone, you never have to do it out of sympathy or just liking the person; you need to truly love the person.»

Mom swallowed down her tears and said: «Unfortunately, the two of us discovered that way too late. "The kids will be okay. I know that, because you were born to be a mother, Ayako", he said to me.» I stroked mom's shoulder, just wanting to push all of her sorrow away. She may have feelings for him still, but that doesn't make her weak. Not at all.

«I love you, mom,» I said. I know now, it was really out of the blue. But the thing is… I had never really said that straight up. I was afraid that she wasn't aware of it. I was afraid that she thought I looked at her as a horrible mother. If only I could remove all of those thoughts with just those three words… Or maybe she already knew all this? Is that why she smiled at me? «I know, Yoshiki. I love you too,» mom said and gave me a small hug. Can I just bring mom and Miki home with me?

«Onii-san,» I suddenly heard Miki say from upstairs. I looked at her and almost jumped up at the empty look in her eyes. Just a plain expression… I had never seen that look on the always smiling Miki. «Yeah?» I said. «She's calling for you,» Miki said, her bangs covering her face as she walked downstairs. Something happened, eh? Don't tell me she's gotten even worse…

…

I don't know why I suddenly felt nervous before I opened the door to my room. Thanks to Miki's reaction, I was prepared for the worst. As I pushed the door, Ayumi immediately smiled at me from the futon. Huh…? She seems completely normal. «Hey…» I said and sat down by her, stroking her hair. She just kept smiling and eventually whispered out: «Yo… shiki.» Why did she suddenly start speaking so wierdly?

«You okay?» I asked. «Mm…» she replied, squirming under my touch. «Ayumi… Don't ever lie like that again,» I said, going straight to the point. She didn't like that one bit. Her smile disappeared and her eyes started to sparkle. Fuck, now I'm getting all… Fuck! «How can you even… Ayumi, don't ever do that to me!» I suddenly yelled out.

I was mad. Frustrated, because just a simple girl made me feel like that. When she was angry, I yelled with her. When she was in pain, I would hurt too. When she laughed… I would smile with her. I just want to hold her tight to my chest and always be there for her. I want to take her wherever I want to go, no matter how much she lost. Her health, her ability to move and her ability to speak properly. I wanted to tell her all this, but…

«Yoshiki… Yoshiki… Sorry...!» Ayumi whimpered out, her tears overflowing. Her eyes were clenched together and covered her mouth with her hand. «You were doing it for our sake, right? All we want is for you to smile again, Ayumi,» I said, gently wiping her tears away. She nodded, but her tears wouldn't stop pouring down. Just wiping them won't help anything…

«Hey, I know what'll cheer you up,» I said. She unsteadily stuck her head up from the duvet and looked questioningly at me. I grabbed the music box from the drawer and opened it, spreading the lovely melody in our room again. As I expected, she didn't move a muscle and just listened to the song.

«Haaa… song…» Ayumi sighed out. «It's "Last Regrets", remember?» I said. Ayumi breathed out a laugh and closed her eyes. She's so fragile and innocent… I've been reflecting on several reasons why Ayumi just got worse. The only one that made a little sense, was that the more memories she recovered, she would lose more and more abilities. But like I said, that only made a little sense. Not enough for me to believe it.

«Yoshiki… Story… Please…» Ayumi begged me. With that pleading look in her eyes I couldn't say no. I put my face just a few inches away from hers and asked sweetly: «Want me to tell you about The Beauty and The Beast?»

…

«And they lived happily ever after,» I finished, smiling at the fascinated Ayumi. I was so glad to see her this interested in my story-telling. Just seeing Ayumi smile like that, was enough of a motivation for me. A hope also.

«M-…Marry…» Ayumi mumbled. «Yup. They married happily, because she loved him even though he was a beast on the outside. Now, they will always stay together,» I said. Ayumi looked up at me with bleary eyes and red cheeks.

«I… I want us to always stay together…!» Ayumi whined out. She almost sounded jealous at the Beauty and the Beast. My heart pounded against my chest. Was that… a confession? «Ayumi…» I could only call out her name. I was at a loss for words. With her hand shaking, she took a hold of mine and whispered: «I want… to marry Yoshiki…»

Had a girl like Ayumi ever made me feel like this? Had someone like her ever made me so crazy because of simply saying that? Had someone liker her brought tears to my eyes…?

«Ayumi… I'll always stay with you…! Always…!» I hissed out through my tears. Even if my sight was blurry because of them, I still saw Ayumi unsteadily sitting up from her futon and putting her arms around me. Her body was warm, but it was easy to tell that it wasn't from a fever. It was from kindness, honesty… Love. I held her tightly, as if trying to press my feelings for her into her body. Making sure that she wouldn't forget. Never forget.

«I'll always be with you. Till the end of time, Ayumi…» I whispered and kissed her cheek, way more passionate than I'd kissed her forehead. Even now… It's impossible to imagine a life here without Ayumi being with me.

«Yoshiki…» Ayumi whispered. She sounded like she did before she lost some of her speaking abilities.

«…Thank you.»

 _«And so, that regualar chinese girl had suddenly saved entire China. Do you know how she could? She was brave and stubborn.» I proudly told her the story about Mulan, as if Mulan was somehow related to me. The fox had looked so fascinated at me as I told the entire story with the song playing in the back ground. I gently rubbed her head and asked: «It's amazing, isn't it? Mulan was an awesome girl. Just like you are an awesome baby fox!» «Auu…» she mewled and snuggled around in my lap. Was it weird of me to get this connected to an animal? Even as we cuddled in the garden for several hours, I didn't close the music box beside me._

 _I let the melody play. Over… and over… and over…_

Why was I holding something non-existent? I wasn't. I definitely wasn't. Just a second ago, I was holding a girl I felt so strongly far. What happened? Could have all of it been a dream? A dream that had lasted for an eternity? No, of course not. The memories of her are way too vivid. But if that's the case…

… Then why wasn't Ayumi no longer in my arms when I opened my eyes?

 **A/N: O.O hope u enjoyed plz review until next time ;3**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Finally, the truth about Ayumi will be revealed. You ready? Alright, let's go! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

 **dammit why can't all of my an's be this dramatic DX**

What was happening around me the minutes and hours after I realized that? I knew actually, but it was impossible for me to process that when my mind was only filled with one thing; Ayumi. All I could do was move. Move out. Escape the estate and just go wherever I wanted to find her. Even when mom asked me where I was going, I just went on. I couldn't care less if it rained like crazy. I kept running and running, unable to think about the theories that made sense. My mind went all over the place. I couldn't think about why she suddenly disappeared, but I instantly thought of the demons of light.

«For everytime a human dies with a smile on their face, a glowing sun of light falls down on the hill where the rain doesn't reach. That's how they're born. They're first trapped in the shape of an animal, but they soon learn to take the shape of any creature they desire. They're all brought to Earth by one mother. A mother whose sole occupation is to take care of them until she conceives a human daughter to keep the cycle going. This may be seen as a demon's ability. However, these creatures wish of nothing but to spread joy. That's where they get their name from. The demons of light.»

Mom told me that, every night I asked her to tell the story about them. No matter how many times she repeated the same dialogue, I never got tired. I loved hearing about them. The animals with abnormal fur-colors and intellegence.

But why am I thinking about them while looking for Ayumi? With that question blending with my conciousness, I had autimatically ran to the hill where the rain doesn't reach.

«Ayumi!» I yelled. What are you doing to yourself? Why the fuck would she be here anyways?! She just faded into thin air! My legs weakened when I tried to go closer to the bushes with the rosenberries. No… I can't rest now… I need to find her. I have to find her! I can't go on without her.

«Ayumi! Keep your thanks to your fucking self! Okay?! Don't thank me!» I screamed angrily. I clutched my hair in my hands and fell onto my knees. My breathing wasn't following the usual rythm anymore. I have to calm down… All I have as clues, is a suspect; Naho. If the books are right, she is The 18th Mother. I need to ask her, and if she has taken her from me…!

Ugh… I can't… I'm way too tired… Can't I just give up now? How am I supposed to find her if I don't even have energy left…?

I'll just sleep… for a bit.

Just a bit…

…

I was looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling when I opened my eyes. Huh? Where is the sky? I was supposed to wake up, facing a grey sky and surrounded by plants at the hill where the rain doesn't reach, yet… I was laying back down on a soft bed. A bed with a scent I hadn't felt since… The first time I went back.

«Oh! So it's really you, Kishinuma-kun!»

My heart jumped. My brain throbbed against my skull. That voice… There's no mistaking it. But, I couldn't place her as the adorable Ayumi that had never had waffles before, never read a porno magazine and loved the music box mom had given me. The thing that she called me by my last name was one clue. But something about the way she spoke… And her hair.

I quickly sat up from the bed and turned to a young woman who stood just beside me. Her skin was pale and her hair was dark-blue as well as her eyes, just like Ayumi. But her hair was a lot shorter than Ayumi's. It barely reached the middle of her chest and was tied into two pigtails. Also… She wasn't as bubbly.

«You… Ayumi?» I automatically said. I was prepared for a confused reaction, but her face lit up. «Right! It's been a while, huh? Though, it's unusual of you to call me by my first name… What happened to «Shinozaki?» Oh well, how've you been?» she asked and laughed.

S-Shinozaki…

Her last name… So her full name is Ayumi Shinozaki?!

«Geez, what's with that expression? By the way, what were you doing by that hill, dozing off? You were always so careless!» she scolded me. I couldn't think of her as a copy. I couldn't even call her Ayumi. This may be Ayumi, but she's not… She's not _my_ Ayumi.

«Sorry Shinozaki… Thanks for taking me back here,» was all I could say. She gave me a simple nod and smiled. I thought for once to talk to her like a normal person, just to get some information. But everything she had to tell… At some point, it was impossible to hold it all in:

«Hey, remember that baby fox you took care of? She was so adorable! Hehe, your sister really thought that she was a demon of light, didn't she? Oh, and she also told me something really stupid. Gosh, I can't believe I still remember that! She told me that you named that fox "Ayumi". My first name, are you kidding me!? Probably because you didn't have the guts to call _me_ by my first name, eh? Oh well…»

…

«S-Sorry… I have to go. Like, right now.»

…

Just before Ayumi thanked me in my room, I'd recovered a memory. A memory about the arctic fox and me. We were relaxing on the grass in the garden. I was petting her head and telling her stories. Stories about brave princes, ancient wars and heart-warming love stories like that every day until I had to abandon her. At that time, we were listening to a song we both loved so much. A song that I never forgot the melody of.

Last regrets.

So right now, I only needed to talk with one person. I didn't give a shit if I hadn't talked to her properly yet. For Ayumi's sake, I would do anything.

Anything…

…

Again and again, I powerfully banged my fist against the door to Naho's house. They had a doorbell, but I needed to somehow let out a portion of my anger so that I wouldn't jump on her the moment she showed her face. «Naho Saenoki! Open the door!» I desperately yelled. I think that yelled flicked some kind of switch, since a familiar face opened the door just a second after I called her name.

Her eyes were completely empty as she coldly stared at me. «What a way to greet me when you haven't even spoken to me earlier,» she spat out at me. If I hadn't just lost Ayumi, I would've been terrified and immediately apologized. But I didn't. The anger had given me strength and courage. «I need to talk to you. Now,» I said. It wasn't a question. It was an order. That seemed to go through to her, so she sighed and let me in.

…

On the way to her living room, she told me: «You don't seem to be surprised that I didn't ask for your name.» «Well… Since you know Ayumi, I assume that you know who I am too,» I explained. I thought myself that I must've sounded crazy, but apparently not to Naho. We had reached the living room, so Naho sat down on a single chair by a long couch.

«Ayumi, huh… She's the first one to have asked me to call her by a name,» she muttered. My gosh… I really was right. Thoughts like «The legend is true» or «Magic like this can't be real!» had switched places with the thoughts I previously thought of as unreal. All I need to do is to get used to supernatural stuff.

«Naho Saenoki… You really are The 18th Mother of the demons of light, aren't you?» I asked as calmly as I could. Naho sighed with a forlorn look in her eyes. She crossed her arms, looked out of the window and said: «I suppose… That was the only I was raised to do by my mother… She had her rough methods, but I still want to remember her…» I wasn't nervous anymore. Pushing the general facts aside, I asked her abut what truly mattered to me.

«Where is she? Where is Ayumi?!» I had unintentionally raised my voice, which didn't make Naho soften up to me exactly. «If you know what I'm able to do, you should control what comes out between your lips, Kishinuma-san,» she coldly said. I crossed my arms and stared at the ground, my body shaking with frustration. «If you want to know the whole truth, I'll tell you,» Naho said. I nodded at her, and she started telling:

«It was many years ago, but I was old enough to become a Mother. The demon that you refer to as «Ayumi» was one of the first I brought to this world. Her first appearence, was an arctic fox.»

I squeezed my lips with my hand while covering them with my hand in shock. My worst fear was actually true. The Ayumi I know… She's a demon of light. I didn't want to believe that. One of the things that enlightened in my mind, was that the Ayumi I care for now, was not the same Ayumi I fell in love with when I was little. Before I had digested the biggest bits, Naho continued:

«A naïve child had suddenly brought her home with him, so I couldn't look after her anymore. She was the first demon to ever interact with a human, since they're meant to remain a legend and only a legend. I waited for her to come back on her own, but to my shock…»

She gave me a disgusted glare as she said: «That naïve child had left her by the hill. You told her you would come back and you didn't until a decade later.» I gulped and tried to explain: «I had to go back with my father. I had no choice, Naho. Believe me, I really wanted to take her back with me!»

«SHUT YOUR MOUTH!»

Not only had she stopped my talking, but even my breathing was set on hold after that terryfying yell. She didn't even apologize. She just kept going like nothing had happened.

«You disgust me. You were so hypnothized by Ayumi Shinozaki that you didn't even notice how strong feelings she had for you! After that, she demanded me to call her "Ayumi" and to let her see you again when you come back. She asked me to grant her the ability to speak Japanese, let her take the shape of Ayumi Shinozaki and to tell her when you came back.»

«And so… She paid you back somehow?» I said. Naho gave me a nod and said: «I asked her if she loved you enough to sacrifice herself to make you happy… Do you know how disappointed I got at her…?!» My heart ached for what she had said. To think that she was so in love with me… No, I can't cry now…!

«I said that she had to pay with her memories. I had a catch though. As she eventually recovered her memories, she would lose the abilities I had granted her. That means that she would get weaker and weaker in her human form. And when she recovered absolutely all of her memories…» I saw a hint of sympathy in Naho's expression as she said:

«She would disappear without a trace from your life.»

 **A/N: My god… If you enjoyed, plz review about your thoughts! UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Chapter 9 is up! Only two chapters left peeps! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

Everything became about Ayumi now. Or rather, it felt like everything became pointless. After all of this while I was looking for Ayumi, I knew that I would find her. And then, she just… Naho basically told me that it was all for nothing. I wouldn't get her back anyways. I don't know what was going through me at that moment. Maybe grief… Definitely anger. I was desperate. I know I was desperate. Otherwise, I wouldn't have pleaded for her like that.

«You can't!» I yelled at her. I was practically on my knees, begging her. My pride was the last thing I worried about. All I wanted was to feel the sensation of Ayumi in my arms again. Just one more time…

«I apologize, but my powers cannot be reversed. I can only add,» Naho said. She wasn't sorry. Even if she was, did she really think that an apology was enough. «Naho, please give me a little time! If you have to take her, please let me say goodbye properly! One day, please!» I begged her. But emotionless Naho only looked at me disgustingly. «…Fuck you!» I simply screamed at her and gave her a firm push, falling onto my knees again. I was weakened, and all I could do was continuing to beg.

I need Ayumi… I need her!

«Just one day!»

I felt my eyes widen and I turned my gaze upwards to Naho's face. She was gritting her teeth together in agony while saying: «I'll bring Ayumi back… But only one day. That's it. Just please…» With a gentle power, she took my hands and removed me from the floor with a pained expression. «Don't beg me like that… You're not as disgusting now, since you've showed me how much she means to you.»

I felt my lips shaking as they curled up into a small smile. «Thank you… Thank you…!» I said, my breathing getting as shaky as my lips. «It's not free,» Naho added. Right… I need to pay her somehow. Getting my memories erased is completely out of the question. I don't want to give away a body-part or anything either… Wait, didn't she mention that she doesn't remember her mother earlier?

«Naho, do you… Where's your mother?» I started with. She looked up at me, surprised at my question but she replied firmly: «She passed away 17 years ago, when I was 10. The moment she concieved me, she wanted to get rid of her purpose as soon as possible. When I got old enough, that is.»

Naho's mother… killed herself? Well, only living to tace care of demons isn't really a way to live, is it? But just throwing her life away like that… «Do you still love her, though…?» I asked. Naho shrugged. That's good enough. «I have a picture of her… So if you'd like to remember her, I can pay you with it,» I suggested, scared that she would just laugh at me. I mean, it does seem pretty weird.

Surprisingly though, Naho nodded after a minute of thinking. «That's good enough. Then, meet me tomorrow before sunset at that place,» she planned out without my agreement. That place…? Oh, right. «Okay. Thank you, Naho,» I said gratefully. Naho slowly sat down on her chair and sighed. «If that's all, please get out of my house,» she said, the past coldness thawing. I did as she told me and went home.

…

«Yoshiki!» Mom immediately embraced me powerfully when I showed my face. «Hey… Sorry,» I loosely apologized for earlier. «Oh… I thought you were running away! Don't ever scare me like that!» mom scolded me. This was one of the few times she had actually raised her voice at me. For good reason though. I'd scared the crap out of her.

«Yoshiki, where in the world is Ayumi?!» was the next thing she asked. Oh fuck. I don't want to lie, but… I'll tell her in the most normal way possible. «She's… She's taking farewell with me tomorrow,» I simply said.

Mom's eyes widened in both shock and frustration. «What? She's leaving? Did she possibly…» I nodded. «She can't stay with us anymore and she wished that she properly said goodbye to us…» I said. It wasn't anything Naho had said, but I was definite that Ayumi was thinking that.

«And now, she only wants to say bye to you?» mom asked, looking donwards. «Yeah. It's hard to explain, but that's just how it is,» I said. She sighed and covered her mouth. She must be completely heartbroken. Of course, Ayumi was like a daughter to her too. «Alright… Tell her that she's always welcome to visit,» mom said. She didn't even wait for my reply before she sat down on the couch, covering her eyes, saddened.

…

It had went a while before I ended up in my room after trying to comfort mom the best that I could. I closed the door behind me, and my eyes immediately fell on the music box on my drawer. Last regrets. If I'm going to see Ayumi for the last time tomorrow, I have to make it memorable.

«Pip pip!»

I flinched and looked beneath me, sighing in relief when I saw Pippi violently flapping his wings. «Hey, you…» I cupped his small body with both hands and lifted him up. He's grown so much… He eagerly flapped his wings again. Is he trying to tell me something? All of sudden, Pippi was flying about 4 inches above my hands. Woah!

«Y-You've finally learned how to fly, huh?» I said, stroking him bellow his dark beak. That means… «I'll have to let you fly, then…» I muttered to myself. We can't keep him here forever, I know that. I opened the window in my room, enjoying the fresh breeze that flew in.

«Well… It's been nice having you here, buddy,» I said and lifted him up again. He looked up at the burning sky with his small, black eyes. He wanted to fly and be free, just like most humans. That's why…

I stretched out my arms with Pippi in my hands and let him get used to the wind first. His pure, white wings spread out and he flapped them in a rythmic matter. He's really gonna do it, eh? Gosh, why am I getting emotional…

Feeling his legs gradually float upwards, I stretched my arms out as long as I could and saw Pippi flying out of my palms and outwards to the sky.

«Bye bye… Pippi,» I whispered, wiping away a spawn of sadness from the corner of my eye. I thought that was the only thing that would stream out of my eyes. But when I thought about how both of our new family members had vanished just before my eyes, made me truly realize how incredibly sad I was inside.

I just needed something to trigger all of my disguised tears.

Just like a pair of rivers, tears ran down from my eyes. I was unable to control it and I even fell onto my knees because of how defenseless I felt. I was a man, wasn't I? No, of course I wasn't. I was anything but a man. I may be 20 years old, but I'm still a boy. I may have had a good education, but I'm still a boy. I may have learned what it's really like to fall in love with someone, but I'm still a boy. You wanna know why?

How can I look at that blond bastard in the mirror and call him a man when all he can do about his problems is… cry?

I hate myself for crying. I hate myself for not being able to do anything. But… There really is nothing I can do. There is one thing, and that is to accept it all and forget about Ayumi. Forgetting Ayumi…? No, I can't do that.

All I can do… is to accept the truth.

 **A/N: So now even Pippi is gone… What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! UNTIL THEN ;3**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Just one chapter left after this… Enjoy it while it lasts! PLZ ENJOY ;3**

Is this what it feels like? To say goodbye? I could clearly see Naho in the distance with Ayumi in her arms. Finally… Of course, looking forward to finally seeing Ayumi again wasn't nearly as strong as the sadness I felt. But feeling like I'd finally found her… It made me amazingly warm inside.

Naho was sitting on the grass and Ayumi was wrapped in her arms with her eyes closed. She was wearing the exact same clothes when I found her 3 weeks ago. I clenched my hand against the basket I was holding, filled with momentos. A switch in my mind got flicked, and I started running towards them.

«You weren't late,» Naho said. I looked downwards at Ayumi when her eyes gradually opened. «I wouldn't have wasted a second,» I replied and sat down ahead of Ayumi. «Au…?» Ayumi questioningly moaned and blinked her eyes at me. Right… She hasn't got back her abilities as a human yet. But she does remember me, right?

Ayumi's eyes widened and sparkled in the red sunset when she took a good look at my face. «Yo…shiki!» she hesitantely called out, smiling widely. I didn't know if I should've embraced her or something, but I quickly decided when I saw Ayumi stretch out her arms towards me. In a nanosecond, I wrapped my arms around her back and powerfully hugged her warm body.

«So… Where's the photo?» Naho asked. I raised my finger, telling her to wait and reached out for the page with the sketch of her mother I ripped out. Naho's eyes watered up when she saw the real-looking drawing of her late mother. With shaking fingers, she took the photo, turned to Ayumi with a gentle expression I'd never seen before and asked:

«What's your name?» Ayumi's large eyes grew more in suprise, but she worriedly knitted her eyebrows together. She slowly opened her mouth, and moved them. However, only short exhales escaped from her lips. She knew what to say, but it was hard to form out the sounds. It's gotten way more difficult for her to speak.

«You can do it, honey. Little by little,» Naho comforted her and carefully stroked her hair. Ayumi took slow breaths and started talking: «A… Ay…» Her face suddeenly lit up as she suddenly got an idea and she blurted out: «A… Ayumi…!» Naho pleasently smiled and praised her: «Very good! Now, what's his name?»

Ayumi turned her head to me, looking confident and determined. Could it be… Is it easier for her to say my name if she really wants to? «Yo… Yoshiki. Yoshiki!» she repeated over and over again, her eyes glistening with blended tears. I don't care if she can't talk. It won't be necesarry for her to communicate verbally.

«Around sunset, Ayumi will vanish once and for all. Don't waste any time,» Naho said. «Hey… What will happen to her?» I asked. «I actually don't know… I assume she'll once again become a spawn of a demon of light. Though, she'll have to wait for the next human to die with a smile to get reborn,» Naho lastly informed. I don't think she was able to take it any longer. Otherwise, I don't think she would have simply left the scene without saying goodbye or anything.

…

For a small while, I just held around Ayumi and pet her like I used to when I was younger. «Auu…» Ayumi purred and snuggled closer to me. Did she even know what was going to happen?

«Ayumi… Would you like a belgian waffle?» I asked. Who am I kidding? I already knew the answer, so I already started messing around in the basket I'd brought. «Ah! Mhm!» Ayumi excitedly mewled out and squirmed around, trying to reach out for one. I chuckled and handed her one, making her immediately start nibbling on one. «I bought one with chocolate sauce this time, just like I recommended,» I said, enjoying the view of her happily eating her waffle. Man, this reminds me of the time I took her to the city.

«By the way, Pippi finally learned how to fly,» I informed, thinking that she deserved to know before she… y'know… Ayumi smiled brightly with her mouth open. «Amazing…!» she managed to say. I laughed, but inside I was still wondering if she knew what was going to happen to her.

«You know what's going to happen to us, right?» I asked her, feeling my bangs hovering in front of my eyes. I didn't dare to look into her eyes. If I did, I wouldn't be able to keep accepting the truth for anytime longer.

She looked at me from the side, not smiling anymore. In the corner of my eye, I could clearly see that she was on the edge of crying. She nodded, her grip on my hand tightening. She's still trying to hold on, even though she's going to disappear from my arms.

«You wanted to forget it for a while, didn't you?» I assumed. Ayumi held her tears back and nodded. «Last day… remember,» she muttered out in a hoarse, tired voice. «Yeah… Me too,» I said, stroking her pale cheek. Looking up at the sky, I saw that the sky was gradually becoming purple. The sunset had almost passed. I turned to Ayumi and said: «I want to turn our last moment together into happy memories. I think I'll be able to do that if I fulfill at least one of your wishes. That's why...»

I got up and took out the second last item from the basket and held it up in front of Ayumi's head. She looked at me questioningly at first, but felt her eyes widen when she understood what it was and why I had brought it.

She got up unsteadily and lowered her head, allowing me to fasten it on top of her head, letting the white and long fabric flow in the air behind her in the gentle breeze that passed by. «I'm sorry. I don't have much money, so that's the closest I could get. I wanted this to be a proper one…» I explained bashfully. Ayumi desperately shook her head and took a hold of my hands. She wanted to get her point through so badly that she couldn't stop shaking her head.

«Wait… Let me make this even more special,» I said and took out the final item from the basket. The thing that Ayumi loved the most.

It felt like the tear-triggering melody spread out to the entire world. It was a good feeling… People who've seen Ayumi in her original form must have seen her as an animal. When I heard the melody, it was like the world at last accepted her as a woman. Not as a demon of light. Not as an arctic fox. Not as any woman. Not as Ayumi Shinozaki. Ayumi. Just Ayumi.

It might have been silly. This could easily have been something small kids would've done with a random girl they knew. An unofficial marriage. But to me… Me, who had so true feelings for the young woman in front of me… We didn't need a cake. We didn't need a tuxedo and gown. We didn't need a witness. Just the two of us. I looked downwards at our intertwined hands with smiling eyes and said as earnestly as I could:

«Before I start… I want to say something only I can say, and not something that has been said so many times before. Is that okay?»

Ayumi cocked her head to the side, but nodded. She was patient and kind… Beautiful. Just the way she looked up at me with stars in her eyes, glistening in the faint sunshine that was almost completely swallowed up by the horizon. I took a deep breath and folded out all of my feelings.

«I've known you for a long time. During that time, you were two different people in my and other's eyes. But now, I can clearly see that you've always been that one beautiful girl; Ayumi. But to you, I was always Yoshiki, eh? No matter how long I was away, you kept waiting for me… I'm so grateful. I'm lucky to have someone like you to love me like this. I know that—

I had to momentarily stop, because my throat was tightening. It was difficult to say all this when I truly meant it, and knew that it would either break her heart or make her die peacefully. I moved my hands further up to hold her closer to me and struggled to continue:

«Did you know, Ayumi…? At first, I didn't believe that you were the person I was supposed to remember. Gosh, I hate myself for it… To avoid all of this, I could have wished that you were human, but… Wierdly, I don't wish that at all. All I can wish for is… to make you happy.»

Ayumi's lips who were carefully curled into a smile were shaking at the sweet words I was letting sweep out of my mouth. I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gently kissed her forehead.

«Ayumi… Will you stay alive in my mind and heart, even if you're gone? Will you promise to keep reminding me of what we meant to each other…forever?»

Her body's warmth filled me to the brim inside as she tightly embraced me, her emotions overflowing right in front of me. «Yes… Yes…!» she whimpered out, her tears running down the back of my neck. The world had shattered; beneath us and above us. Nothing was about time anymore. It was all about Ayumi.

«I have always… I have always…!» Ayumi's words wouldn't escape from her heart. Her abilities prevented her from saying what I already knew. It's okay… If her heart won't let her, then my will…

«I know… I love you too, Ayumi,» I said and felt my heart beat with even more force against my chest. She had been waiting for those words, even though she doubted that they would ever come out between my lips. Her cheeks reddened and she wiped away the new tears. «Well then… May I start?» I asked. Ayumi smiled and nodded.

It was a moment that real men always dreamed for. A moment that could cause a complete chaos because of you being nervous. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and let out all of my determination in my voice:

«I, Yoshiki Kishinuma take Ayumi as my wife… To have and to hold… For richer or poorer… In sickness and health… Until death tears us apart.»

It was a simple speech, but one of honest feelings. That's why it meant so much to both me and Ayumi. I opened my eyes and smiled whole-heartedly at her red face. «I've always… Always l-loved you…!» Ayumi finally said, tears starting to build up. The sadness was ignored for a moment there. I knew that she loved me, ever since Naho told me. But to straight up be told that I'm loved… This time, I was the one who pulled the other for a hug.

It was a strong hug. Maybe I thought that if I hugged her hard enough, she wouldn't go away? «Yoshiki… Thank…» Ayumi started to say, but I shook my head against the nape of her neck. «One more thing,» I requested. «Auu?» she whimpered. I snuck my lips just by her ear and whispered:

«Keep your thanks to yourself.»

«No…» she immediately protested, but I shook my head again. «Don't thank me for anything, because I want to thank you too. We're even. Therefore, before you go… Just say "bye bye"…»

I hurt myself with my own words, but it was true. We didn't need to thank each other for something as simple as meeting. Ayumi hesitated, but she seemed to think the same as me. «Mm…» she eventually said, making me sigh in relief and earn a desire welling up within me.

I only slackened my embrace enough for us to face each other. She knew what was coming, wasn't she…? Is that why she closed her eyes…? I'm grateful for that. I leaned in closer and closer, letting my lips first give hers a brief touch. Just a little peck. Was that enough…? Of course it wasn't.

I snaked one hand to the back of her head and the other one around her back the second before our lips once again met. A thousand times more passionate than the one before. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, not wanting the moment to ever end. It did end eventually though, didn't it? I couldn't see the time, though. Nor could I feel it. I didn't know when our kiss ended and when we started embracing again. All we wanted, was to keep holding each other… to the very end.

Last regrets played over and over again.

The horizon drowned the sunset.

A breeze revisited us.

«Yoshiki…»

The feeling of her warmth gradually faded.

The sadness was remembered.

«…Bye bye…»

…

«Ayumi…?»

I realized that I was only holding air when I called her name and got brought back down to Earth. I looked up at the pitch-black sky. Then down on the cold grass. Then on the basket. Then… on the music box that still hadn't stopped playing the melody.

I had just lost a part of me. A part of me that I would never get back. A part that would only remain as bittersweet memories. The only thing I had left was… A wedding veil, resting peacefully in my arms.

Falling onto my knees, I tightly clutched my hands by my eyes. Tears streamed down in waterfalls and choked-down sobs escaped my throat.

«Ayumi…. Ayumi…! Please, come back!» I yelled out, hoping that at least someone would hear me. I thought that I'd accepted it! Hadn't I finally become a man!? No! I'm just a boy! I'm still a fucking boy!

«AYUMI!» I screamed bloody murder and broke down i sobs. What the fuck am I supposed to do…?! I can't live without her! I just can't…! I can't!

Ayumi… You kept your thanks to yourself.

 **A/N: Not gonna lie… Really sad memories of when I wrote Starcounter came back as I wrote this ;_; I would love to hear you guys' thoughts now. UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Last chapter everyone… PLZ ENJOY ;3**

«Gochisousama,» I said when I swallowed the last bite of cabbage-stew mom had prepared. It was like my words had been emptied from 2 weeks ago. I tried my best to always keep my composture, but it often got the best of me. I had to hide in my room and cry out the tears before I could show myself again. I'm sure both Miki and mom knew what it was about, but… They had no idea of what actually happened to her.

«It wasn't too salty, was it?» mom asked. «Nah…» I muttered and was about to head upstairs when I heard Miki talking.

«Onii-san… I think you should go home.»

If it wasn't for the sink, I would've broken my plate when I dropped it. Mom's fork fell on her remaining stew and she stared at Miki. «Miki!» she hissed out at her and then turned to me. «Yoshiki, please don't li—

«Mom, just stop!»

We both looked shocked at her when she hit her fist against the table. I had never heard her raise her voice like that, but that only made me take her more seriously. «I see a lot more than you think! Mom too, but she tried to ignore it! I did too, but now you're just pissing me off!» she said, her fists tightly clenched.

«Without Ayumi-san here, there's no reason for you to stay here without feeling like you're being forced to, right? Therefore, go back home with dad! Have a nice happy life!» Miki said, her entire body shaking. Is she… crying? «Honey…» mom sighed and pulled the sobbing Miki into a hug. Gosh… It's not like I feel forced to. I love both Miki and mom so much.

Mom gave me a glance while comforting Miki, her eyes telling me that I should think about what she'd just said. She really does agree with Miki, eh? She wants me to go back home with dad. I sighed, frustrated and crossed my arms. I told myself two weeks ago that I couldn't live without Ayumi, right? But…

She promised me that she would stay with me in my heart. In my mind. Within my memories. In a way… She's still with me.

«Mom, I…» I was about to say something, but was interupted by the doorbell. Mom was still busy with Miki, so I got the door. Standing there, was…

…

«Huh…? What are you doing here?» was the first thing that came out of me when I saw Naho before the door. Her expression was warmer than usual, as if she was carrying a sense of sympathy. «Have you been alright?» she asked, answering my question in a way. How did she suddenly become so nice…?

«Well… I've been better, to say the least,» I said. She clearly saw that I was holding back. She shook her head and sighed, irritated. «I don't think anyone would be okay after that,» Naho said matter-of-factly. I just looked at her, trying to make her leave with just my gaze. Just a few seconds later, Naho handed me what I thought was a piece of paper.

«A… letter?» I mumbled. Naho nodded and explained: «You thought that her life was a bit too much as a payment for meeting you, right? Ayumi also asked me to write you a letter for you to read, after she vanished. I wanted to give this to you after that, so that saying goodbye wouldn't be as hard.»

I gently took a hold of the thin, ordinary-looking envelope and looked at both sides. Nothing, so I assumed that the whole explanation would be inside. «Please accept it… as well as my apologies for your loss,» Naho said with honest sympathy. After what me and Ayumi said to each other, I didn't dare to say "Thank you". I simply nodded at her and closed the door.

I looked down at the letter in my hands, stroking my thumb over it gently. Ayumi really did think as far as this. Maybe she knew that I would eventually fall for her too? And that I would be depressed after her passing?

I turned around, seeing mom at the phone, wearing a worried expression on her face. What's with her? Noticing me looking at her, she hesitantly handed the phone to me and said: «It's your dad.»

…

«Dad… I don't know,» I finally managed to say after dad's long speech. I could almost hear dad frown at the other side. «Where has your common sense gone, boy?» dad muttered. Now it was me who was frowning. «Common sense.» Really dad? «And just what do you mean by that?» I asked. He could sense that I was testing him, since he sounded a little pissed.

«This was only supposed to be a visit, since you haven't seen them for a while. Isn't it time to come home after almost two months?!» he asked, angrily. I sighed, clenching my eyes together in frustration. «I… I…» Dad groaned out: «And you're calling yourself a man… Ayako has been treating you well, hasn't she? If you want to grow up properly, you need to be disciplined. If you're worried about them, you can always visit them another time.»

My blood was boiling. He hadn't really said anything wrong. But his whole theory was just… And the way he said, «visit them». I breathed out a mocking laugh and said: «Visit them, huh… So, like every 10 years? The next time will be when I'm thirty and Miki 26, huh?!» My voice gradually got unintentionally loud. Even dad seemed stunned at the usually obeying me. I felt really relieved at the opening he gave me: «I may only have been with them for a few years of my life… But they're still my family.»

«Yoshiki! Watch your mouth wi—

I literally threw the phone on my bed sat down on the floor, tightly gripping my hair. I can't believe I just said that… And out of all people, my father! I don't really regret it, though. I looked over at the drawer by my bed, making me even more down.

I got up on unsteady feet and sat by the drawer, grabbing the music box with the letter on top of it. My fingers were shaking by just thinking of opening it, after two weeks. I'm scared… I'm scared, Ayumi… If I keep ignoring all this… I'll end up forgetting you again. Didn't I promise that I wouldn't forget you again? I'm really… really worthless.

My gaze felt completely empty when I lifelessly reached for the envelope and ran my thumb along the the opening before finally ripping it, taking out the folded piece of paper. I don't care anymore. I'll just read this and get it over with.

 _Dear Yoshiki._

 _You called me Ayumi, because you were too afraid to refer the girl you were in love with as her first name. Therefore, I've decided to let everyone call me that. I never had a real name._

My chest heated up a bit at that sweet way to start. Even if I didn't know what the whole letter was going to be about, the start was something that Ayumi would've said. That made it feel more _real._

 _I asked Naho to tell you everything about what I am, either if you asked or after I disappeared. I hope she has. I also asked her to give me those ablities and to write this with my guidance. And to give this to you. That means that as you read this, I will be gone._

I thickly swallowed as my throat felt tight and dry. She wanted to prepare both me and herself for this, didn't she?

 _First of all, you must know what I am. I am a legend. I was born of a smile on a passing human. Naho concieved me from the sky above the hill where the rain doesn't reach. My first shape, was one of an arctic fox. I had no intention of changing that, until a young boy found me while he was playing where I was born._

 _Even as you just carried me home, I didn't want to resist. You glowed with such kindness and warmth. Except for Naho, I'd never imagined another human being so kind. You treated me like someone who would break if you just pulled out a hair. For the first time in my life… I felt important. That's why it didn't take long before I realized that I wanted to be with you forever. But you already had someone you wanted to be with. Ayumi Shinozaki._

My breathing was completely out of rythm. The disguised tears turned into choked down sobs. If only I could just tell her how heart-wrenchingly much I loved her. I knew I couldn't change the past, so I continued to read.

 _And when you had to leave the rainy town… I was selfish and I wanted you to take me with you. But of course, I let you go if that's what made you happy. Saying goodbye was really difficult. The aftermath was even more difficult. I thought that I would never see you again, but I begged Naho to tell me the moment you came back. And that's how the whole deal developed. That's how it all began and you know the story from there._

 _I don't know if I managed to get my feelings for you through, even with my memories gone. Let's say they did… We must have said goodbye at one point, right? You don't have to return my feelings. You can just accept them, and I'll be able to return one day with a smile on my face. As I'm gone, I have one request. If it is too painful, please forget it._

 _I know that you want to forget me. But I don't. I'm starting to get selfish again… Or rather, I've always been. But don't remember me as a person in pain, surrounded by painful surroundings. Remember me, inside happy, sweet memories that are and always full of joy. When you think of me, don't think that I'm gone. I'm still there._

 _Please don't cry. Please keep smiling. Please keep being there for your family and remember, I'll always remain in your heart, no matter how far away I might seem. I'll always, always be with you. Okay?_

 _But if I never told you the truth, I only have one thing to say._

 _I love you, Yoshiki._

 _Sincerely, Ayumi._

The letter shook in my hands. All of my body parts were trembling so violently because of how strongly Ayumi's feelings got through to me. Just hearing her «say» it, made me really feel like she was inside me, always whispering sweet nothings to me.

«Ayumi… I love you… I love you so much…!» I hissed out, my lips wettening because of the two streams of tears. Yes, I did cry… but I was smiling. Laughing, actually. I breathed out short, gentle laughs and looked up at the ceiling. How can I forget everything now? How can I even go back to my former life? I looked at the music box, the images of Ayumi's smiling face popping into my mind.

I know now.

…

It took about half an hour before I completely managed to collect myself. When I did, I went downstairs to return the phone… and to make a declaration. Mom and Miki were just sitting on the couch right in front of the TV, watching some kind of documentary with empty and emotionless eyes. However, they both turned to me when I started walking down towards them. They thought they knew what was coming, which was probably why they were wearing such grim expressions.

«Listen,» I said, enough for them to not jump into conclusions and let me speak. «I… I've decided to live at home,» I said. Miki thickly swallowed when she heard my answer. Mom nodded understandingly, but she was clearly pained by my answer.

«… I understand. So, when do you plan on leaving?» mom asked as calmly as she could. I cocked my head to the side teasingly. «What are you talking about?» I asked and chuckled. Both of them looked confused at me. Partly because that was the first time in a long time they had heard or seen me laugh, let alone even smile.

I almost sprinted towards them and wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them into an embrace. «This… is home,» I whispered. They just stood there dumbfounded for a minute, but they gradually started to show emotion. «Onii-san… You big dummy…!» Miki whined out. I felt mom smile against my shoulder and whisper: «You're such a good boy…» I laughed at those repeated words and held them even tighter.

Ayumi wanted me to keep on living with a smile and to remember her with a smile, even though she was no longer there. I plan on fulfilling that last wish of hers, until I forget her.

And that time, might just never come.

 **THE END**

 **A/N: Ah… Thank you guys so much for reading this story! It's nice every once in a while to write an emotional story with a bittersweet ending. Yes, Ayumi might be gone, but Yoshiki decided to stay with his real family in the end. Plus, he'll only remember the sweet memories of her. What are you guys' final thoughts on this? Plz review and tell me! Okay, now I'll just need to take a break until I get a new idea, but oh well… UNTIL NEXT TIME ;3**

 **Senpai's Boo is out ;3**


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